The Maid and the Mother

From my bedroom window, on a sunny morning a couple of weeks ago, I could see a woman feeding an infant at a table near the pool of the hotel next door. "Is she the mother or the maid?" I asked myself.

A few minutes later, I got my answer and I watched the scene for a while.

The mother had come and taken a seat at the table. She seemed absorbed in her thoughts, not once getting close to her child for a hug or a kiss, or taking over from the maid the task of feeding her own child.

Such a scene would be surprising in the West, but not in Singapore. Domestic help is widely available and inexpensive, as poor women from neighboring Southeast Asian countries (Indonesia, the Philippines) flock to wealthy Singapore in search of work to support their families back home. Even middle class families in Singapore can afford to hire a maid, sometimes even two.

Since this scene took place at a hotel, the mother may not be from Singapore, but many Singaporean women would behave this way. It is a common scene to see a woman or a couple walking down the aisles of the supermarket, with a couple of maids in tow, one pushing a child in a stroller and the other a cart full of groceries.

A Singaporean doctor I know rails against women in Singapore for being lazy and incapable of doing anything around the house, so used have they become to be surrounded by help. They do not even cook or take care of their children, since the maids can do that too.